It started as all crushes do,
With a funny feeling in my stomach, a tickle in the throat,
Breath that would start wheezing
And a heart that would float.
Those eyes were never ending pools of hazel,
Silently entreating me to lose myself in there till the end of time,
The lips slightly parted, saying nothing,
Yet emitting an inaudible, imaginary chime.
Every day I passed that face,
With features chiselled to perfection,
Every day I buried my head in my scarf,
Running till I got lost at a busy intersection.
My mind would urge me to meet those eyes,
Look into them till they became windows to the soul,
Yet I couldn’t get myself to actually lift my eyes higher than the cracked concrete I walked on.
I can’t. I shan’t.
Instead I would contend myself by peeking from behind books and laptops,
That body built with what magic is surely made of.
It walked to what seemed like a rhythm of happiness,
The lips moving in a poem of mauve.
Then one day that happened what always had to,
Those strong sturdy legs approached an unusual direction,
They proceeded steadily towards me,
Leaving me incapable of thought, speech or action.
“You look pretty today,”
The lips moved in three way harmony with the hands and eyes.
I gaped, unable to find any words.
I was stupefied, mesmerized.
The eyes implored me to answer,
But I stubbornly held my ground.
The face in front of me patiently waiting,
But eventually forming into a confused frown.
“Sorry, I’ve got to go,”
The lips turned in an apologetic smile,
The feet scurried away,
Merely a few steps but it felt like miles.
“What was that?” my mind angrily demanded
“I am shy!” my conscience reprimanded.
Even as my tongue ached to call after those fleeting feet,
I don’t, I won’t.
Days and months rolled by,
And increasingly it became evident,
We were but two flowers,
United by a single scent.
And however blissful it might have been,
It was nothing short of a struggle for sure.
We seemed to have contracted a contagious virus,
With no actual remedy or cure.
We might have run out of grit,
But love triumphed fear and we braved it.
We knew we could not stop now,
We shouldn’t. We couldn’t.
Shunned by all, we roamed the streets,
Hand in hand together, battling all the fear,
We smiled through the pain,
Till we had no courage to spare.
They gave our love a tag, a price on our heads,
Trampled on our hearts and tore them to shreds.
What was the most beautiful thing to me,
They called it unnatural, LGBT.
It was an affair completely in the dark,
One that no one could ever know about,
And if it ever came out in the open,
Both of us would be disowned as daughters, without a doubt.
Years passed, and life tossed us apart,
Never to meet again,
And though fate gave us enough to smile about,
Our hearts were never without pain.
But on days when the sun shone brightly,
And streaks of white swam through the sky,
When the blades of grass felt full of magic,
And miracles seemed nigh,
I would picture myself in a place
Where I can step out of the closet and break free,
Spread my wings and proudly proclaim,
“Here I am, this is me!”